Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Next Stop: Rejection

A friend of mine, a dashing young lady who lives and works in Boston, was heading to work on the Green Line this morning when a lad decided to chat her up. She decided to turn his efforts into a teaching moment. Here’s what happened, in her own words:
Comely Friend of Under The Sink: I was on the T and a young dude in a suit was like, "What do your tattoos mean?"
11:35 AM
So I explained: Mother and father, and he asked, “Why in Arabic?” So I told him I was part Lebanese and he made some comment of how he cannot tan and he is not as golden as me, even in summer.
11:36 AM
So I laughed, and he was like, “Where do you work?” I told him, and he just went “Ah, [place where she works],” and asked if I did SQL work at all
11:37 AM
So I said yes, and he asked where I was from. And I said "I have a boyfriend, you know," and he was like, “Where's your ring?!”
11:38 AM

Under The Sink: He asked if you did SQL work???
Is he a stalker or did you have a SQL book out or something?

Comely Friend of Under The Sink: …and I laughed and said, “No ring!” And he laughed and said, "I wouldn't have started talking to you if you had one!" LOL
11:39 AM
[About the SQL stuff] No, he asked more about the database work I do.
11:40 AM
So he asked, “How'd you meet your bf, and I explained and mentioned [Boyfriend of Comely Friend of Under The Sink] was younger because we were talking about school, and he's like, “Whoa! I thought you were 25,” and then he said, “Wait how did your bf score a girl like you!?” And I said, "See what you're doing there, any girl would like to hear a compliment like that! That's nice."
11:41 AM
"You make good conversation. Focus on that, but don't come on too strong."

Under The Sink: LOLOL
11:42 AM

Comely Friend of Under The Sink: And I mentioned, "It's nice that you asked about work and stuff instead of just making fluffy convo!"
  And I said, "And you gotta ask right away if a girl has a boyfriend. Don't set yourself up for false advertising."
11:43 AM Then he was like, "Do you have any single friends like you!?!??"
  and I said no, sorry, but keep talking to girls on the T!
  It was a nice conversation!
So there you have it, a good-looking woman tells you what to do when flirting on the T:
  1. You have a small window of time when flirting on the T. Make the time count!
  2. Pay the lady a compliment!
  3. Avoid fluffy conversation that doesn’t mean anything to anyone.
  4. Ask her about work!
  5. Ask if she has a boyfriend!
  6. Don’t come on too strong!

Who knew there were this many rules?

The whole thing was eerily like making a cold call in sales. Our Comely Friend is like Giovanni Ribisi in Boiler Room:

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