Tuesday, July 29, 2008

I Was Cut Off By Whistler's Mother

You know how sometimes you can tell when a fellow driver is gonna be a problem? Today was one of those days.

I was coming down the American Legion Highway in Revere when I saw mid-80’s shit brown Chevy Celebrity with its right blinker on, tailing an oil truck. I knew without seeing the driver that he or she was old. I knew that he or she was about to become a problem when the blinker turned off.

Her car (right lane, now next to mine) started to lurch towards me. I hit my horn. She looked at me, and I could now see that she was ancient. I mean, older than anyone I’ve ever seen try to drive a car in my life. She clearly saw my car next to hers. She didn’t stop. I slammed on the brakes, and she glided in front of my car with about two feet to spare.

Then she stopped. At a green light. On a highway.

Apparently, she wanted to turn left, but didn’t make it to the turn lane. She just stopped in front of me, next to the turn lane. I hit my horn. Several others behind me followed suit. She wouldn’t move.

After about 15 seconds of sitting at a dead stop in the middle of the highway, she cut her wheel and inched toward the turn lane. Then stopped. Then inched up again. Finally, there was enough space and I pull around her and shot down the road.

When I looked back, I could see she hadn’t stopped. She was now trying to plow through the opposing traffic to make it onto Revere Street. All I could see were taillights flashing and bumpers rising abruptly, trying to pull their cars to a stop.

I hope she made it to wherever she was going, and I hope her car immediately exploded after letting her out, like in the Blues Brothers.

I would happily pay more in gas tax if we could have a reliable shuttle service for seniors who can no longer drive.

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