Tuesday, September 23, 2008

I am Crazy Glue

Lunch was almost uneventful today.

I wasn't hungry, so I went to Starbucks to talk with a friend and do a little writing. Apparently, someone slipped some Freak Juice in my espresso, because they soon started flocking.

Everything was fine for most of the hour. But then a regular walked in, sat down in the club chair next to me, and starts talking, angry.

"Fucking women, man. Unfuckingbelievable! They are goddamned unbelievable!"

What the Hell do you say to that? I thought he was just being rueful. He was in earlier, talking to a friend about a divorce. They went outside to talk further and had just come back. Maybe this other guy's wife had taken him to the cleaners?

I tried to laugh it off. "Heh, really?"

"I'm serious! Don't ever get fucking married! Goddamned women!"

"OK! Well, I gotta get back to work. Talk with you soon!"

So I fled the scene and drove back to work. I walked into the building just behind a woman in hippie sandals and a long, flowing skirt. She headed down the hall as I walked into the elevator. Just as I was about to make a clean getaway, she came barreling back down the hall and stops the doors.

"I guess I'll try another floor."


"Hah, OK. What floor would you like?" I asked, since I was standing next to the buttons.

"It doesn't matter."


She went on: "The bathroom on this floor is not very appealing right now." And she started to laugh.

"Ah. Fair enough." I said, and then started at the floor indicator, praying to God the doors would open and I could get out of the box of crazy. I swear it took an hour to get to the second floor.

This is why I work from home three days a week. Yeesh.

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